Bandanas and Buttons

I know I’ve seriously been slacking in the posts lately. But, I have a fairly good reason. I’ve been going through a little bit of a “feeling sorry for myself” phase and it’s been a little tough to crack. Normally, these don’t last long and I am able to bounce back and go own with my day, but for some reason this one has been just a little bit more persistent. I have friends that I feel have deserted me, I feel distant from family and I’m just generally down and out. Tomorrow, Nate and I are going on a little mini vacation, though, and I’m hoping that will help some.

And now for the news:

On Monday, I went to my doctor’s office because the pain that we had originally contributed to the PCOS was still lingering and making my life Hell. Its been two months since I have had the offending ovary removed and the doctor had told me in the beginning that it was merely the first step in fixing this pain. Since it is still there, we’re moving on to step two, which is a hysterectomy. This is scary news for me and I’m not sure how I feel. Even though our family is complete, I’m still pretty young and the thought of having someone remove my uterus makes me a little sick to my stomach. I’ve heard the range from, ‘you’re going to be fine, get over it,’ to ‘OMG!!! NO!!’ from various people. I think I’m more in the middle of that spectrum. All I want is to be pain free. If this is what it takes, fine. But it doesn’t stop me from mourning a little bit. It’s my womb. It’s where I carried my daughter for nine whole months. It’s what makes me a woman. We’re basically going to demolish Button’s first apartment. I’m grateful that we weren’t still planning on children and I am VERY grateful that we are now part of an incredible church that I know I will be able to rely on for support during my recovery. At any rate, I hope this trip will help me feel like myself again and I’m praying for a speedy and stress free convalescence. Wish me luck!